So I have been procrastinating setting up my ultrasound the doctor ordered to take a close look at what on earth is going on in my uterus. There is never a good time for this to happen, but by putting it off I then didn’t have to think about the outcome. This sort of thing creates great anxiety for me wondering what could be. By nature I am a worrier and get anxious over even the smallest of things because the mystery to me is larger than life. Another words, I always think the worst.
I took the plunge and booked my ultrasound for Feb 26th, 2018 at 9:00 in the morning. best to get it over with early in the day so I don’t stew about it at work. Even as I type this my heart is racing and that feeling of utter dread comes over me. What am I worried about? I am concerned they may find cancer because I do have many of the symptoms. Since beginning peri-menopause at 47 I have struggled with heavy periods, spotting, urinary issues such as struggling to get flow or going every couple of hours. At one point a doctor put me on a low dose pill and I would spot off and on throughout those years. I have had 2 previous ultrasounds both showing possible fibroid or adenomyosis . My uterine lining somehow has been able to grow in the muscle surrounding the uterus called the myometrium thus causing problems. Some would say my symptoms are also congruent with adenomyosis which is very likely. I am 54 so truly I should be in menopause, but I just don’t because I have been on some from of HRT since 47.
I am estrogen dominant, which also causes problems. I need very little HRT estrogen combined with progesterone to stabilize things and I truly believe this is the root cause of the bleeding. If I take too much I spot, so I literally take about 1/8 of what is prescribed. Just enough so I am not getting constant urinary track infections and to keep the sore joints and hot flashed at bay.
How ever, all this deliberating and ruminating is not healthy and has me on edge. I know the ultrasound will not be the end of my journey. My doctor has told me regardless she will send me to a gynecologist who will do a biopsy, etc. All so stressful but necessary.
I will be glad when this is all over.
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