I truly like this aspect of my blog. Human relationships,regardless of whether they are romantic, family or work related have always intrigued me. There is so much contrary information out there about the human psyche. Psychologists and psychiatrists, scholars, researchers and the everyday person like me have an opinion. Heck there are thousands of blogs just like mine trying to unravel the mystery of the human mind.
Of course my blog is from my perspective and I know some will agree and others will not and I am OK with that, in fact I welcome it. I am very open to different perspectives and learn a great deal from my fellow human beings, so please feel free to interact with me, and I ask in a kind and respectful way.
Today’s post is about respecting another’s core beliefs even if they don’t align with yours.
A co-worker of mine was just not herself today, she seemed distracted. withdrawn with eyes that painted a sad soul. It is tough to approach a co worker under these circumstances because they are not like a close girlfriend you can share anything with. Finally I asked her if she was OK and told her I thought she seemed distracted. She looked at me with those sad soul searching eyes and told me she and her boyfriend had a nasty fight the previous evening. So we decided to step out of the office to chat about it.
Her evening started with some fun at a local pub with another couple whose company they enjoy. At one point, after a few drinks, the waitress came by and asked the husband from the other couple if he wanted anything else. He responded saying, “Well maybe your phone number” in front of all sitting at the table. There was an uneasy silence with a rather disgusted glare from the waitress who clearly was not impressed. My co worker said she was so blown away that he made the comment to the waitress and even worse with his wife sitting right there, she was speechless. Apparently the wife just smirked and sat quietly for the rest of the evening. Eventually they all parted ways and my co worker began to complain to her boyfriend about the behavior of the husband of the other couple. She said three things were truly troubling about the incident which compromised her core beliefs;
- Clear disrespect for his wife
- Sexual harassment of the waitress. Why should women have to put up with this in the hospitality industry?
- Misogynistic attitude that objectifies women for his pleasure and gratification
My co worker brought his up to her boyfriend who told her that although he would never do that to her, he could see how it was just playful banter between the waitress and husband. That is was perfectly OK under the right circumstances. This started a major argument that almost caused them to break up. MY co worker felt her beliefs about women;s equality and the daily struggle women face to try and escape the sexual objectification of our gender was passed off as insignificant by her boyfriend and a huge slap in the face to women in general. . He felt she made more out of it then necessary and didn’t respect his beliefs and values.
My general thought is my co worker sees it as a black and white issue that, the behavior is wrong much like stealing where her boyfriend who clearly has much more liberal values saw it as playful fun. At the end of the day, the fight ended with them going to their respective corners to try and make sense of it all. Is this black and white or is it more gray?
Thoughts??
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